Saturday, 26 July 2008

Gauging the Changes

KEEPING track of changes, particularly those minuscule accretions or reductions, is not always easy especially for who have a tendency to ignore the accumulating discrepancies until the differences are much too obvious. More so if the changes we are talking about are changes in an individual's attitudes and views in life. Yes, I'm talking about myself here, but I guess many can relate to me anyway. XD

So I haven't been noticing until just a moment ago, those subtle changes in me that I failed to notice 'coz of the things that are keeping me busy these days (like sleeping at home or on the job; LOLz). Lately I have been slowly attaining a few of my goals (which I set at the start of the year) and I didn't realize that I had. Blame it on the distractions, perhaps, but I think I know the real reason why I just shrug them off until the change is so great to ignore. I ignored the changes because they are just the initial, necessary steps I had to implement to attain my true objectives.

I don't know exactly when, but I have been slowly fulfilling #1 and #5 of my 2008 plan of action and the results are quite conspicuous already. I now know I'm a more mature individual/professional as compared to a few months ago, and I'm now looking at things at an even better light.

Yeah, I've been complaining much about some company stuff that occurred not-so-long ago, as well as my moments of indecision. But these days, I have succeeded in closing the books of old wrongs and directing my attention instead to the future ahead. I have, so to speak, matured well enough to keep myself at peace with the things that used to make me bicker and sulk in a corner. If before I used to say, "poor me, having to suffer through these...", now I can proudly say, "oh, so this is why I had to undergo those 'tortures'..." =P

Yes I have changed, and it isn't really the kind of change I always wanted (except of course for the still continuous lost of excess poundage, which is among the wanted ones). In truth, I never thought I'd see things the way I do now. But yeah, I have come to a decision that I used to despise because of my nationalistic idealism - to pack my baggages and allow my roots to get planted elsewhere.

Yes, I've finally given up on this country and I'm preparing to relocate. Although I feel it is pretty hypocritical of me to say so, I have accepted the fact that at times eating your own words is far easier than it seems. Giving up pride for more vital necessities is a mark of maturity, I surmise, and being able to do just that show how much I've changed without me knowing it.

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