Monday, 25 February 2008

Field With Floating Fish

My previous post states that I've recovered from my depression. Actually, I've gotten over it after the trip to a "floating" restaurant in the middle of the rice fields - Isdaan (Fishery). I didn't take pictures since my companions had theirs, which of course yield better pictures than my cellphone camera. Still, I have this snapshot to share at the moment (I'll post the other pictures when I receive copies):


This place had been featured in Philippine national TV long ago, but I may have failed to listen intently back then since I didn't know that this has a good restaurant aside from the "Taksiyapo" wall.

Jenna, Joy, Aiza, Jasper, Darrel, Ma'am Prescy, Jerome and me went there as a formal get-together since Jerome recently went back here from California (where he is based now). Yup, he treated us to dinner! ^_^

The food was really good, and the place was high class - perfect for the occasion (Jerome's homecoming and Darrel's passing of the recent nursing board exams). We caught up with the latest (and some of the older) news while eating and taking pictures. After dinner, we went to the famed Taksiyapo Wall and we gave the wall a good beating with *gasp* ceramic plates.

Yup, that's the Taksiyapo wall (as featured on TV) for you. It's a wall that is painted with common things that causes anger to most people. There are unreasonable bosses, work pressure, EXes, irate customers, loan sharks, as well as corrupt public officials targets that people can bombard with the things they would fancy. Available for throwing (and of course, smashing) are sandwich plates (P12 each), bowls (P14 each), dining plates (P30 each), lighters, wall clocks, vases, and... *drumrolls*

*even more drumrolls*

*and even more drumrolls* (yeah, I commissioned the drummers to extend the sound effects) :P

TELEVISION SETS for P1,300!

After paying for the items that will end up as bits of debris, a customer can release his/her anger by aiming said item towards the appropriate target. There's even a designated commentator who'd cheer you on. Just grab whatever item is within you budget (as well as throwing power), aim and shout, "TAKSIYAPO!"

The force of the shout alone can satiate bloodlust, but if that wasn't enough, the sound of shattering objects will definitely suffice. Or if one round didn't do it, there are plenty more to smash. LOLz

Yeah, marketing flick, but it's quite nice, not to mention that it really works. Kudos and more power to the people behind Isdaan!

Back on Track

Nine days since my last post, I can finally say that I'm over with the depression that gripped me for what had been the longest time ever. Yes, I'm quite used to being depressed but that last bout was a bit more than the usual.

Indeed, the greatest contributing factor is my work and the work environment; I won't say that my job is very much stressful or anything, nor will I state that it is unhealthy. As a matter of fact, it is quite the opposite. But there is just one catch: my work assignment calls for me to stay in the office for a minimum of four days a week and during that period, my world revolves around anything and everything about my job. Yes, there's no stress. Yes, living conditions are better. But no, I'm not truly happy.

Why, you may ask. Well, I won't go emo on this post (much) nor will I fill it with too many grievances. On the contrary, I'm blogging about my problems since I'm quite aware that the best remedy to my recurring depressions is for me to release them and not let them build up. And after venting out, it's best to analyze the cause so as to come to a solution and make a resolution that will, or may, prevent further recursions. So, I'm jotting down these facts after days of reflection and personal reaffirmation.

It's not actually the nature of the job that is the problem, and neither is the workplace. The real reason behind my recent bouts of depression is that things are getting... boring. Yes, boredom wears me out faster than pressure, because the latter is something I've learned to cope with during my student years. When exposed to continuous periods of non-activity (or the lack of challenging tasks), my usually hyperactive mind loses track, gets out of focus, and goes haywire.

I just can't stand being cooped up, and my freedom limited...While it's true that boredom is something that can easily be countered, there exists another idiosyncratic problem in the ACeS office: isolation. Even if I had been a total loner since I could remember, I am no longer one. I just can't stand being cooped up, and my freedom limited.

It is the combination of these two things, which others may quickly see as a boon instead of bane, that gives rise to the onset of depression for me. I get bored in that place, and I can't even go where I wanted to go - this vicious cumulative cycle culminates with that general feeling of being down and useless.

I think I've previously blogged about those periods when the members of the ACeS team feel so low, and indeed it had been something we had grown accustomed to. I've been experiencing this since last year, but these days the depressions extends to a greater period of time. Of course I tried to search for what caused such thing, and I believe I have found it.

The reason why my depression seems to be getting worse is the development of an innate and genuine sense of: professionalism. I'm no longer the same carefree worker as I was before, and I have no plans to stagnate or regress.

The cause may actually be the effect, and the effect the cause, and the solution may be the problem, while the problem may not be a problem at all.It's quite ironic that three things that are quite positive in nature are having adverse effects when combined in not so good proportions. It's even funny, too, when you think that I didn't even realize it at once. The problem, as well as the answer to the problem, had been staring me at the face and I'm just ignoring them. I'm quite pathetic, really, but at least I know that I still have a lot to learn, and I'm learning them.

What that ordeal has taught me is this: there is always a cause and an effect, as well as a solution to every problem. But the cause may actually be the effect, and the effect the cause, and the solution may be the problem, while the problem may not be a problem at all.

Saturday, 16 February 2008

Regarding Rule#1

When I conceptualized this blog, I wanted it to be a repository of memories that I'd be willing to reminisce when the right time comes. Furthermore, I also aimed to make a feel-good blog that will showcase the optimistic side of me. Yeah, that is rule #1, and I don't intend to break it.

Thus, I've been writing less frequently these past few days. Recently, I've fallen into a bout of depression due to various matters (mostly work-related, but there are other contributors, too) and I'm still to fully recover from it. I just can't muster enough optimism to update; though I sometimes get some nice idea to write, I can't pull myself together to actually jot them down. Often, I'd start to write a few beginning lines but totally stop after the first two. I'm feeling down these days, but I'm recovering little by little.

This post is a testament that I'm on my way to recovery. I hope I can fully get over the depression soon. Summer is approaching, and I'm pretty sure this bad mood will not go beyond my favorite season.

Sunday, 10 February 2008

The Tale of teh iRL Wedding

Yeah, I still haven't updated my blog as frequently as I used to, even if I mentioned in a previous post that I'd be more active on this after submitting the PA report. Well, there had been too many things that kept me busy so I wasn't able to write. Anyway, right now I've got time to jot down the events that transpired yesterday, so ladies and gentlemen, I present the tale of teh iRL wedding. :P

First of all, pRB's Mage Teferi (one of the pillars of the Fanfare Secret Cafe Valhalla guild), or Timothy in real life, tied the knot in a lavish Church wedding complete with a sumptuous dinner reception at Paco Park last night. I alloted quite a lot of time for traveling just to arrive on time; and even though I was rather very early, I'm not complaining since I'd rather not be late. It was good that traffic was at the minimum yesterday, so I met up the other members of the guild way earlier than the call time at Robinsons Place Manila.

While waiting for the others to arrive, Mai, Gwon, Mikan and me went around the mall, which had changed a lot since I had last been there (about more than a year ago). Our quest led us to Gashapon Paradise (LOLz) wherein the three tried their luck in acquiring the rare toys that were up for grabs. It was in the toy shop wherein we waited until Abbe and Jet arrived, after which we stayed in the nearby Coffeebean and Tea Leaf until Jason and Anna came and we left for Paco Park.

The group was able to give well wishes to the groom shortly before the start of the wedding ceremony, which started at around 6:30PM. Anyway, I'd rather not give further details on the ceremony, for fear of religious prosecution for what we've been doing during the mass (ie., not listening intently to the officiating priest, among others) :P

pRB's Nilathiel joined us while the newlyweds were having their pictures taken inside the church with the guests. After several wacky shots, we dashed outside to get to our table that we found occupied by some other people; we settled for one in the corner wherein we resumed our conversations while waiting for dinner (we were quite oblivious to the reception activities as our location prevented us from seeing much of the festivities) *details of the conversation deliberately removed to prevent international conflicts among nations* :D

After dinner, and getting our wedding souvenirs, we bid the couple farewell and went on to our next destination, Starbucks Vito Cruz, wherein Jet treated us to some frappes as it is his birthday today.

Again, congrats Tim! Happy birthday Jet!

Sunday, 3 February 2008

Overcoming Loneliness

I thought I was through with my addiction to anime, but thanks to my guildmates in the fanfare guild of valhalla, it has returned to full blaze. Anyway, I'm currently streaming three anime titles at crunchyroll and animethat these past few days - Clannad, Shakugan no Shana, and Spice and Wolf.

I like Clannad for the humor, Shakugan for the action, and Spice and Wolf for the dramatic flair. Aside from nice storylines and music, there are bits and pieces of lessons/truths, which are conveyed in these anime, that got me thinking again.

Anyway, I won't delve much into those, but I'll focus on something I find in common among these three: striving against loneliness. Perhaps the reason why I'm hooked to these three anime right now is because I used to be a loner a few years back. Yeah, I know how it feels to be alone, and how it is like to be in a situation when there'd be nobody there to help you out.

I can practically feel the pain when Horo (Spice and Wolf) and Shana (Shakugan no Shana) both blurted out that being lonely is very painful. I know, I've been there. And I might say that being a loner is something I'm quite over with.

I guess the best way to overcome loneliness is to let someone else take it away from you. From all the information I had gathered regarding this condition, I surmised that the reason why people become loners is that they feel (I mean, I felt it too) that the people around them cannot be trusted. Add also the fear that opening up to others may make the person more vulnerable.

Yes, at the core of every loner's heart is a person very much afraid to be hurt.

Trusting others and regarding them as friends is a great gamble, especially if the bond of friendship is shattered one way or another. And then, the void that was supposed to be filled becomes larger, and loneliness grows. This is a loner's greatest fear.

I'm lucky enough to have ran across them, and I'm blessed enough that the bond is still strong even after all these years.
In my case, I found genuine friends who helped fill that space. I'd say that I'm lucky enough to have ran across them, and I'm blessed enough that the bond is still strong even after all these years.

At any rate, I'll still say that the best way to overcome loneliness is to be brave enough to risk everything. If things don't turn out right, one can always trust another person again, and another one until the right one comes along. Courage is at the center of every endeavor to succeed, and overcoming loneliness requires a great deal of it.