Wednesday, 16 July 2008

Awakening

Recent turn of events had managed to awaken me, and made me face the tough reality: that far from becoming the person I had wanted to be, I'm becoming quite the opposite. Perhaps it was because the process was subtle and incremental, but one thing's for sure - that my weaknesses remain while the things I consider my strengths are slowly dissipating with each passing day.

I no longer know how much time had elapsed since I told myself that I'll always use my head in whatever decision I'd make. It doesn't matter now, 'coz I've already broken that vow out of a whim just to get a shot at being rebellious one time or another. Yes, I did say I'll follow the best and most secure way available. But I have long strayed from the path most people take, aiming to make a new one that I hoped will let people remember me for (or something of the matter; I'm really not so sure what I'm blabbering about right now). =P

Looking back at some of my most recent memories, I see that I had become self-centered (something I really used to despise). I've had my share of vanities and prejudices, and many a time I also cared not for the people around me, but for my own selfish concerns.

But the greatest error of all, is that I still don't feel sorry that I had done those things. I guess maturity's still a long way down the road for me. But this time, I'll savor every step towards the goal.

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