An Afternoon Flood of Memories

A rather strong downpour this afternoon had, once again, forced me to abandon the use of my PC lest a sudden strike of lightning fry it's components (which I incidentally just cleaned a few hours previously). Thus, I was left with nothing to do, although I don't do anything much even when the device is on, anyway. XD

So, I pushed myself to take care of a few matters I should have carried out long ago. And among the things I managed to do was tidying my room. Although I wasn't keen on cleaning up, being the lazy person that I am, I had more than enough time and there was nothing else to accomplish (sleeping was deliberately taken out of the options, by the way).

And there I was, sorting out stuff and rearranging bits and pieces of my past. Hordes of correspondences in envelopes began appearing out of everywhere, and so did grocery receipts, billing statements, travel tickets, souvenirs, memorabilia, et cetera, et cetera.

While rummaging through the pile, I just couldn't help but reminisce. With each item that my fingers touch, floods of memories began pouring as steadily as the rain against the rooftop.

Old notebooks - filled with various data and whatnots - swept me back to my days in training, and brought back images of a past I've long since forgotten. Here and there lay old payslips, and I just couldn't help but wince a little, as if it pained me that much, when I realized I am now still getting less than what I used to get in my previous job of 3 years ago.

A trinket or two reminded me of the time when pRO was at it's peak. Those items I eventually placed in very accessible locations, along with a few blank CDs and network cables that should have been used already, but wasn't due to several circumstances.

Eventually, I finished extricating the things that I must keep within reach, and stowed the others in the proper storage places. Having done everything I thought I should do, I grabbed my phone and sank myself down upon pages of e-books that lay dormant in the device's memory card, while helping myself to some chips that led me down further memory lane.

Summer's missing

While scientists are saying that the freak weather the country is experiencing at the moment is a sign of global warming, I have an altogether differing view. Sure, having strong downpours during the month of April is something that hadn't occurred in recent history, and the shift in the air current patterns that is causing it is a side effect of the phenomenon.

But really now, people are missing something. Had it not occurred to many that perhaps this incident is mother nature's way of saying something like, "Well, since Jherskie ain't goin' to Bora due to the cancelled TCP, might as well postpone summer until next year..."

Lolz. =P

Just joking. ^_^ I also believe this is a sign of global warming, although acknowledging the cause can't get us anywhere near to stopping the rains during my beloved season. Moreover, it doesn't change the fact that after last month's escapade with the OSA babies, I still haven't been to another summer outing. All I've been doing for the past weeks are work-related activities that really aren't that fun. Sigh... =|

Choices

WE all have our own choices to make: there are those who find it easy to say 'yes', while others give their 'no' without second thoughts, and some find it best to wait.

Summer Rain

There are incidents that arise quite suddenly that despite the very imminent warning signs, some are still caught barely prepared for the consequences. Nonetheless, not everything may really be unwanted, 'coz a bit of rain after a boring, hot summer day can be the perfect ending to one that had been so mundane.

Reflection

Over the past few days, I've gotten one of those rare chances to reflect and think things over. It was largely due to some work-related activity involving a great deal of travel that I found time to ponder and re-discover some of those things that I've been forgetting as time goes by.

As of now, there's no question regarding my future plans: I've already made my mind to, again, let the fates decide one way or another. No, it's not the things to come that I greatly thought of; rather, I spent a lot of time reminiscing the things that I'd rather not bring to my consciousness during any ordinary day.

I remembered one thing in particular: that I have lots of frustrations and failed dreams. They still haunt me, although I rarely realize that they do; as a matter of fact, they are deeply buried in my subconscious mind that even if I don't live the negativity associated with them, they still alter my way of thinking and still cause some actions or decisions that I'd not have had in the first place.

Despite all my frustrations, I still emerge in control somehow. Perhaps this is due to a stronger analytical mind than before, or maybe brought about by a more fortified will power. One thing's for sure though - I still get to see the brighter side of things.

We can't have everything, I've long accepted that fact. But the thing is, I really do not ask for anything much, but sometimes I get what I never wanted and I find the things that I've longed for continually slipping away from my grasp. I do have more than what others may be in need of, however I can't lay my hands on those that I really yearn for.

I had never been one to fall for stupid mistakes, but all the wrongs I've done - they surely are greater as compared to what others may cause. This had always been one of those frustrations: that I screw up at the gravest possible way, in the most critical time, and at the worst place that I could. I had never wished to be perfect; I just wanted to be a better me.

Yet through it all, I can't help but feel satisfied over the littlest things with each wondrous passing day, in every sumptuous meal on the dining table, and at every sensible post I can put in this blog.