Friday, 14 September 2007

I R Wizzie

As it had been for the past 5 weeks already, GM Tristan's Group Writing Project, which is nearing it's final week, had me racking up my brains for memorable moments and comic antics related to one of my passions: online gaming. For this week, GM T gave this topic: "REALITY OFFLINE: If Online Games Were Real, I would… "

So what will jherskie be if online games are real? A Ragnarok Online WIZARD, of course. There'd be nothing else ^_^

Well, if i'll be a wizard, things in this country will change. And I do mean MAJOR CHANGES, to put it succinctly. So how will teh Filipinos know if jherskie had become a true-blue wizard? Read teh signs... Read teh signs...

First Sign: The SM Skating Rink will close down business...

Of course, the SM malls' pride will lose all their patrons after I use STORM GUST!! and freeze the Pasig River. This is actually a two-pronged approach to address a few problems I see in the metro. As the river is frozen, no one will (hopefully) dump their wastes in it, and the squatters living by the river banks will have a new hobby (figure skating) that will likely supplant their current past times (ie, pollulating and drug addiction). Hey, we'll produce more figure skaters for international competitions, address the pollution problem, and curb the runaway and ballooning growth rate! WIN-WIN-WIN!!

(Oh, nevermind Henry Sy's business. I bet he'll come up with something to replace lost revenues)

Second Sign: Agriculture will boom once more...

With my WATERBALL!! skill, cloud seeding will be a thing of the past. Need water for the crops? Who do you call? (Not GHOSTBUSTERS, demmit!) Again, who do you call? Tadadadadaaaaa.... jherskie! I'll be taking all the excess water in flooded areas and use it to refresh dried up streams and agricultural lands. Another two-hit combo, I might say. (Hmmm... I seem to be getting more useful for the country... Note to self: ask for some tax discounts for all the services I'm rendering)

Third Sign: Byebye Corruption!

Oh come on, I know you thought, "No more kurakot in teh government? impossible!," and just admit it coz I've got teh remedy with the aid of my SIGHT!! Nothing hidden can't be revealed to me, and I bet there'd be much ill-gotten wealth I could give back to the public treasury. Another one-two punch delivered by yours truly; no more corrupt government officials, and more money for proper use on government projects.

WOOT! Scalawag days over, boys! I'mma watching j00. (Another note to self: make sure to write a book containing teh secrets of top personalities. It'll be bestseller. RLY)

Fourth Sign: No more brownouts!

Pick your choice among my electric attacks: Lord of Vermillion!!, Jupitel Thunder!!, Thunderstorm!!, Lightning Bolt!! I've got more charge at the tips of my fingertips than the electricity output of all coal-fired power plants in the country. No more need to import coal, and no more harmful by-products released to the atmosphere. Add the cost for importing fuel, and I can say that I'm teh saviour of teh Philippine Islands!

Shame that I wouldn't be able to hand out autographs for fear of electrocuting someone. Oh! that's right, instant electric chair, table, couch or whatnots for executing criminals!


There you have it folks, the things I'd do if online games were real and I'm blessed with the chance to be a wizard (or to put it into other words, how jherskie will save the Philippines). A very pretty picture, isn't that right? LOLz :P

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